Dear Titus

Hey buddy,

You would be three months old today.  Mommy and Daddy miss you so, so much.  We talk about you all the time.  I want more than anything else on this earth to hold you in my arms, kiss your soft brown hair and look into your dark eyes.  You look so much like your daddy, which is actually something I always talked about wanting when I was pregnant with you.  I was listening to a song recently that said "If I find in myself desires nothing in the world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I wasn't made for this."  I always knew that one day I would be in eternity with Jesus, but now I understand much more deeply that heaven is truly my home, and my life here is just a moment.  One day, Daddy and I will be there with you forever.  The hope of that beautiful eternity keeps me going.  I love you Titus Michael Tarrant.  On December 12, 2011, you brought more joy to our hearts than we could have ever imagined.

Daddy cried so hard his chest heaved as he looked at you for the first time.  I was way too tired to cry, but I held you on my chest and said, "Oh my goodness!" over and over again.  You were here, you were perfect.  Our two days with you sweet boy were the best days of our lives.  Every day that I mark off the calendar is one day closer to seeing you and beholding the full glory of God.  Soon.

Until then, we know that God continues to put breathe in our lungs.  Jesus, the same Daddy that holds you now, helps us everyday.  After you went to heaven, your cousin Avery told her mommy you were cozy and warm because Jesus is holding you.  Titus, it's true that being there with Jesus is much better than being on this broken earth, but I still long and cry and ache for you to be here.   We are praying to have  dream to see what it was like when you arrived in heaven and Mercy was there.  I imagine that her joy could not be contained.  I also imagine you both playing with Judah and Baylor.  I'm sure you are all good buddies.

Titus, I could not possibly be more proud to be your mommy.   I love you beautiful boy, forever and ever and ever.

love,
mommy