Judah and Baylor

Today marks seven months since these two boys were born in a hospital in Dallas.  No heartbeats, just silence and tears.  Even though I never had the honor of meeting them, feeling them kick in their mommy's tummy or holding them, I miss Judah and Baylor Coughlin deeply.  About a month after Titus was born, I went to a children's museum with Lindsay.  In the gift shop, two little boys with light blond hair, plaid overalls and glasses caught my eye.  I'm sure I seemed a little stalkerish because I just stood there and stared at them until they walked away each holding one of their mom's hands.  I just kept thinking--that's exactly what Judah and Baylor would look like at 4 years old.  For the rest of my life when I see twin boys of any age, I will think of Shane and Min's sweet boys.  But, on that day it was different and the image of those two boys is what I picture every time I'm thinking about them.

Everything within my being wishes that Shane and Min & Michael and I raising our boys right now, not writing blogs about them.  But, in the current circumstances I find myself in, I must remember the gifts that our children are to us even though they are not in our arms.   

Now, I have some things to say to the boys:

Dear Judah and Baylor,

First of all, I hope that you two are tight with my Titus and Mercy.  

Boys, I know that you know this, but I just have to say it again.  Your mommy and daddy loved every minute they got to spend with you on this earth.  What a surprise you two were!  A wonderful, perfect surprise.  Your mommy was just telling me today about seeing the two of you on the ultrasound at 11 weeks.  You two have the most genuine, rad parents ever.  When I went to go visit your mommy after you both went to heaven, I imagined for a moment what it would be like if my squirming Titus' heart stopped beating.  I don't think that I will ever understand why you two and my kids are no longer on this earth, but I do know that your mommy and daddy have been a true blessing to Michael and I.  They talk about real, hard things with us.  Your mommy listens to me when I don't make any sense and tells me I'm normal.  Her eyes sparkle sometimes when she is talking about you two.  Your daddy holds your mommy's hand when she's sad.  He would have taught you two to be strong, sensitive men.  

I'm sure you both know that mommy and daddy will be with you soon.  It's hard to always remember that living on this earth.  Until then, my heart hurts for you both to be here.  I eagerly await the day that we are all together beholding the full glory of God...no more death, tears or aching hearts.  Judah and Baylor, even though your time here was short, your lives have touched so many (perhaps mine one of the most).  I will never forget you sweet boys.  I love you two.

Family Photo:

Shane, Min, Judah and Baylor